Love and Marriage: God’s Design

I came of marriageable age in the 1970s when “free love” and “women’s lib” were redefining society’s view of marriage. At the same time, a revival of interest in God, Jesus, and the Bible promoted conflicting viewpoints on the same subject.

In the middle of this tumultuous era, I got married. And only by God’s grace, mercy, and love, we are still married today—36 years later. Having traversed the rocky terrain of popular opinion and made our way across flooding rivers of human passion and emotion, we now have a life together built firmly in sweet fellowship with our heavenly Father that we will cherish the rest of our days.

It’s because we are so blessed that we thought we would share some of our learning over the years so that you, dear reader, may avoid some of the heartache and pain that too often needlessly separates us from each other. And we believe you will also find greater understanding of God’s will from His Word regarding marriage.

I’ll begin first with God’s Design for marriage as the foundation for human society. In Genesis, God starts off the world with two people—one man and one woman in a monogamous relationship.

Genesis 1:27:
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Genesis 2:7:
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Genesis 2:18:
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

God makes a clear distinction between male and female. Each was perfectly designed by God to function as an individual. But God intended that they work in relationship to each other so He made them to be perfectly complementary.

Genesis 2:21-25:
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

God further blesses them with a mutual purpose, work to accomplish in fellowship together and with Him.

Genesis 1:28:
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

God has made it clear that the standard set for this first “marriage” is one man and one woman who would together “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.” Start a family! Here then is the second condition that God set in marriage—sexual exclusivity, “one flesh.”

Genesis 3:20:
And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

All of Adam and Eve’s children were to follow this pattern: a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves unto his own wife and they become one flesh. Throughout the Bible we see this one flesh relationship as God’s design for the foundation of all human relationships, the family. Adultery is harshly condemned. Take a look at this verse in Proverbs which describes the damaging effects of it.

Proverbs 6:32:
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

God’s Word to us today takes it one step further. Men are to love their wives as their own bodies.

Ephesians 5:28-31:
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Finally, God designed marriage for one man and one woman to join together as one flesh under His loving care and guidance for as long as they both should live. Because we live in a fallen world, conditions permitting divorce were put in place long ago to protect the innocent party, but most often all concerned are hurt by it. Jesus said this safeguard was added because of hardness of people’s hearts, but it was not God’s heart for man and woman.

Mark 10:4-9:
And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Today our redemption has been accomplished in Christ. We live in new life, free from our past and any condemnation that came along with it. We have the most wonderful opportunity to live in a marriage relationship according to God’s design if we choose that path. And all of us, married or not, can teach, encourage, and support each other to pursue our heavenly Father’s perfect plan for the relationship of marriage. That will build strength into our societies as we live His way.

Watch for more “marriage” learning to come on FreedomLifeLight.com!