Forgiveness, Part 1

The Strength to Forgive

After 18 hours of flight on three airplanes, 9 hours waiting in airport terminals,and a 1-1/2 hour train ride, we finally arrived in downtown Melbourne, Australia. Jumping quickly off the tram, each of us with two bulgingly full suitcases in hand, Gene and I began the mile-long trudge back to the gym. (We’d missed our stop at Balaclava Station.) But we eagerly anticipated meeting the owner of the gym, Dr. W. He had promised we could stay in the home he shared with his mother until we found a place of our own.

I barely made it up the steep flight of stairs, but Dr. W was there to greet us. After a tour of the gym and a cup of Milo, he broke the news to us that his mother had misgivings about us staying with her. His counter-offer was a stay in the warehouse of the gym. He played up all the benefits: all the Staminade we could drink, a 33cm black-and-white TV with two channels, free showers after 10 pm or before 6 am when all the men were gone.

In my physical exhaustion and dashed hopes of rest, I felt angry, betrayed, used, and offended. I self-righteously insisted (thankfully, only in my mind) that he owed us. We had travelled at great expense and effort to bring the Word of God to his city. Should he not be more thankful and at least put us up in a hotel? He seemed to have plenty of money.

Thank God I recognized the folly of my thinking. I submitted my thoughts to the Word of God and realized that it was I who owed Dr. W. I owed him the love of God.

Romans 13:8:
Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.

And I acknowledged that God was my sufficiency, and that He would supply my every need.

Hebrews 13:5:
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Then I asked God to forgive me for my bad thinking.

I John 1:9:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

From this position of strength in my heavenly Father, I could now forgive Dr. W for going back on his promise.

Ephesians 4:32:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

That wintry night we huddled together in our down sleeping bags set up on two weight benches pushed together in an unheated gym warehouse, and we laughed at our situation. We stayed there two weeks, living on Staminade, Milo, schnitzel from the take-out downstairs, late night showers, bad TV, and God’s love.

Many of us may find ourselves in similar situations where we need to forgive ourselves and/or others. So here are the take-away points from my story that helped me get there.

1. Recognize when you are offended, feeling hurt or angry with yourself or someone else. The natural reaction to these feelings is “fight” or “flight.” You may begin to fight for your own self-interest, or take flight away from the difficult situation. These are the only options for the natural man who has not trusted in God to meet his needs. He has to rely on his own works to protect his interests. Don’t get trapped in this self-righteousness.

Titus 3:3-6:
For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour.

2.  Remember that no matter what has happened, God will always meet your need. He can turn anything around for your ultimate benefit. And He will give you the strength to endure any of life’s trials, especially those that demand more than your own resources can provide.

II Corinthians 12:9:
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

3. Considering that God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you, forgive the offender. If the offense seems more than you can bear, remember the example of great men in the Word of God who forgave, among whom Christ is first.

Luke 23:34:
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Genesis 50:17-20:
So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.
And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants.
And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Acts 9:26-28:
And when Saul was come to Jerusalem, he assayed to join himself to the disciples: but they were all afraid of him, and believed not that he was a disciple.
But Barnabas took him, and brought him to the apostles, and declared unto them how he had seen the Lord in the way, and that he had spoken to him, and how he had preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.
And he was with them coming in and going out at Jerusalem.

Confident in God’s love and care, we can freely accept His forgiveness for ourselves and extend His forgiveness to others.

NEXT TIME:  Forgiveness, Part 2

What if the offender refuses to repent?