Love and Marriage: Submit

In Love and Marriage: As Christ Loved the Church, we saw that God’s plan for marriage as expressed in Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands specifically in the marriage relationship to love their own wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

Husbands, Love Your Wives

Ephesians 5:25:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

And as we know from verse 2, these men would have already practiced this kind of love with and among the other believers. So, this is nothing new. They would have some experience walking in love and giving of their lives to serve God’s dear children, as all of us are instructed to do.

Ephesians 5:2:
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Wives Bring It Full Circle

Wives, however, are not told to love their husbands. (Although they too would have been walking in love since the directive in Ephesians 5:2 is addressed to every believer). Instead, wives are to submit to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:22:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

The Greek word for “submit” is hupotassō and literally means to “set under.” In context here in Ephesians, it means that the wife sets herself under the authority of her husband as he leads her with the love of God. This brings the marriage relationship full circle to completion: the wife’s submission is the proper response to the husband loving her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

Everybody Loves, Everybody Submits

Now here is a wonderful thing. God has already prepared the husband and wife for these great responsibilities. The man has experience loving others as Christ loved before he is married because everyone is to walk in love.

Similarly, the practice of submitting is also common in the body of Christ. Each believer is told to “set themselves under” one another in what the King James Version calls the “fear of God.” The Biblical texts actually say “in the respect of Christ.” Whenever any believer preaches, teaches, shares, gives, or practices the true things of God and His Word, every other believer involved is to submit with respect.

Ephesians 5:21:
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God [respect of Christ].

The big difference for the wife is that she is to submit to one man in particular, her husband.

Ephesians 5:24:
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Maturity and Giving Completely

There are two things we can learn about marriage here. First, marriage requires two Christian believers, a man and a woman, who have developed some maturity. Both to some extent have practiced walking in love and submitting to others in the body of Christ.

Second, we may observe that there is no room for selfishness. The husband gives of himself completely to love his wife; the wife completely submits to his loving leadership. We’ll get into this more in future posts—this is a BIG subject. We’ll see how Ephesians 5:22-33 describes the marriage relationship in more detail.

God’s Love in Living Color

For now, let it suffice to say that the marriage relationship is to be God’s demonstration to His children (who live in this world) of Christ’s love for the church and of the church’s response to respectfully submit to that love.

Ephesians 5:32,33:
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

NEXT TIME: Love and Marriage: And Gave Himself for It