Principles of a God-Centered Marriage

Since I was young, I dreamed of finding the “right” person to marry.  I longed for someone to spend my life with—someone who would stand with me through the good times and the challenges.  Like so many others, I wanted a spouse I could depend on.  The key to realizing such a wonderful relationship is in its foundation, its center.

God is the “Rock of all ages.”  He is the foundation that cannot be shaken.  God designed marriage, and He gives clear principles in His Word on how to keep Him at the center, where He belongs.  The Bible gives examples of husbands and wives who operated these principles across all Biblical times and in different cultures. As born-again believers, we can apply these principles and reap the blessings of a God-centered marriage.

God’s Word is the standard for His will in marriage. 

With the very first married couple, God shows us His design for marriage. God told Adam and Eve to “cleave” to one another and to become one flesh.  They were not ashamed when they obeyed God’s Word.

Genesis 2:18,21-25:
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

The Lord God brought the woman unto the man.  God was at the center of marriage from the beginning, as the Creator Who had a loving relationship with this first man and woman.  With God at the center, He said that they were to cleave to one another.

The Hebrew word translated “cleave” means to cling or adhere, to remain close to.  This takes focused effort, but it is well worth it.  When motivated by God’s love, a husband and wife want to do all they can to remain close to one another and build a “one flesh” relationship.  This same Hebrew word is used in the Book of Psalms.

Psalms 119:31:
I have stuck [cleaved] unto thy testimonies: O Lord, put me not to shame [don’t allow me to be disappointed].

God’s Word is the standard for marriage.  Both “the man and his wife” were “naked.” Figuratively, this means that they fully shared with one another and obeyed God.  Then they were not ashamed.  As a husband and wife cleave first to God and His Word, and then to one another, they will not be ashamed—they will never be disappointed in their expectation of God’s faithful promises.

Have common Word-based goals.

Some time later, the adversary—as the serpent—tricked Adam and Eve out of cleaving to one another.  Eve did not adhere to her one flesh relationship with Adam nor keep God at the center of her marriage.  The adversary isolated her, and convinced her to disobey God. Adam followed along.

Now out of the garden, they had children.  Some loved God and others did not. The imaginations of the thoughts of people’s hearts became “evil continually.” This opened the door for the adversary to try and kill all life upon the earth with a flood.  Yet God had a faithful man, and his wife, ready in this time of great need.

God gave Noah a huge plan and job to do—one that would save life upon the earth.  His wife needed to accept Noah’s God-given goal and support him to see it through.

Genesis 7:13:
In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah’s wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark.

Noah cleaved to his wife when all those around them were distracted by evil.  Noah’s wife was like-minded enough with her husband to stay with him as he built the ark. To some degree they were of “one flesh,” regarding this common, Word-based goal.

Noah saw it through to building the ark and entering it with his wife and family. Noah and his wife had three sons who joined them in carrying out God’s will by getting into the ark and preserving mankind.

Noah and his wife must have been an example of working together in order to inspire their children to do God’s will when there was so much evil around them.  God was at the center of their relationship to the end that He could come through and delivered them from the adversary’s plan to destroy them.  They were not disappointed in their expectations.

Encourage each other with God’s promises.

Abraham was fully persuaded of God’s promise that he would have a son by Sarah (Genesis 15:1-6; Romans 4:3; Galatians 3:6; James 2:23). Abraham encouraged his wife to trust in God’s promise when she needed help—and she responded to his loving encouragement, believing with him for it to come to pass (Genesis 18:10-14).

Hebrews 11:11:
Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.

Abraham and Sarah kept God at the center of their relationship, judging Him faithful to keep His promise.  Encouraged by the truth, they manifested God’s power and Isaac was born.

Help each other keep a godly spiritual perspective.

Isaac loved the firstborn of his twin sons because of Esau’s five-senses abilities and habits.  Yet Rebekah inquired of the Lord.  She went to God for a true spiritual perspective and saw that Jacob would be the stronger son as he trusted in God.

Genesis 25:21-23:
And Isaac intreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren: and the Lord was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.
And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the Lord .
And the Lord said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.

This became obvious to Rebekah as Esau handed over his birthright (Genesis 25:29-34) to Jacob. She helped Jacob receive Isaac’s blessing (Genesis 27:1-29) rather than Esau. Later, Isaac meekly acknowledged what God had shown his wife and together they did God’s will by sending Jacob to Padanaram (Genesis 28:1-5).  Together, with God at the center, they maintained a godly perspective and acted on the Word.

Forget the past and move ahead to do God’s will. 

One of Jacob’s descendants named Salmon married Rahab, a woman who grew up in an unbelieving city.  She recognized the power of Israel’s God and helped Joshua overcome the city of Jericho (Joshua 2:1-21; 6:22-25).

Salmon was the son of Nahshon, who was the prince and captain of the tribe of Judah (Numbers 1:7; 2:3; 7:12,17; 10:14; Ruth 4:20; 1 Chronicles 2:10,11). This son of a mighty leader of God’s people met Rahab. He saw her godly quality of heart, not her background or past, and he moved ahead with her as they raised a wonderful believing son—Boaz.

Matthew 1:5:
And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab….

Appreciate and encourage each other’s commitment to keep God first.

Boaz learned from the example of his believing parents and married Ruth because of her trust in God—not her national origin.  Ruth had been raised in Moab’s unbelieving culture and married an Israelite who came there to find food. But her husband died. Despite such disappointments and challenges, Ruth kept God first, and He supplied her need. She returned to Israel with her mother-in-law Naomi. Ruth stayed committed to keep the true God as her God.

Ruth 1:16:
And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee [Naomi], or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.

Boaz was committed to do God’s Word and keep his part as a kinsman redeemer for Ruth. He saw her committed heart to God and wanted her to receive His full blessings.

Ruth 2:11,12:
And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore.
The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.

Ruth kept God first, Boaz kept God first, and they both kept Him at the center of their life together.  Their son, Obed, was the grandfather of David. They appreciated each other’s commitment, and encouraged one another to do great things for God.

See God working in your spouse and believe together to accomplish great things for God.  

Many years later two descendants of Boaz and Ruth, through their great-grandson David, also accomplished great things for God! Both Joseph (through David’s son Nathan, Luke 3:23,31) and Mary (through David’s son Solomon, Matthew 1:6,16–verse 16 reads, “Joseph the father of Mary”) were of the lineage of King David.

God sent angels to bring His Word independently to Joseph (Matthew 1:18-25) and Mary (Luke 1:26-38) that this young girl would bear the long-awaited Messiah.  Then, together, they took on the great responsibility of caring for and training God’s only begotten Son.

Luke 2:51 and 52:
And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.

Joseph and Mary kept God and His Word so at the center of their marriage, that God could entrust them with protecting, caring for, teaching, and inspiring His Son.  By the age of twelve, Jesus had learned much from them and was longing to do his heavenly Father’s business (Luke 2:46-49).

Grow together to serve others.

Jesus later began his earthly ministry and called Simon Peter to follow him. Peter’s wife supported her husband in opening her home to Jesus Christ and his ministry—where God’s power was mightily made known.

Luke 4:38-41:
And he arose out of the synagogue, and entered into Simon’s house. And Simon’s wife’s mother was taken with a great fever; and they besought him for her.
And he stood over her, and rebuked the fever; and it left her: and immediately she arose and ministered unto them.
Now when the sun was setting, all they that had any sick with divers diseases brought them unto him; and he laid his hands on every one of them, and healed them.
And devils also came out of many, crying out, and saying, Thou art Christ the Son of God. And he rebuking them suffered them not to speak: for they knew that he was Christ.

As Peter took on great leadership in the Church after the day of Pentecost, his wife continued with him (I Corinthians 9:5). Some Bible scholars believe that Peter mentions his wife being with him at the close of his first epistle.

I Peter 5:13 [New International Version]:
She who is in Babylon, chosen together with you, sends you her greetings, and so does my son Mark.

Reach out with God’s Word together and support His ministers.

Later the Apostle Paul joined Peter and the other Church leaders so that God’s Word eventually prevailed.  One couple who kept God at the center of their marriage was Aquila and Priscilla.  They grew in the Word together as they lived with Paul and helped Apollos become a stronger leader (Acts 18:1-3, 24-28). They also faithfully took care of a fellowship in their home.  They saw blessings among God’s people—and earned eternal rewards.

Romans 16:3-5:
Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus:
Who have for my life laid down their own necks: unto whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.
Likewise greet the church that is in their house….

Some Principles of a God-Centered Marriage

God gives us clear principles—and real-life examples—throughout His Word of how to keep Him at the center of a marriage.  Husbands and wives can:

• keep God’s Word as the standard for His will
• have common Word-based goals
• encourage each other with God’s promises
• help each other keep a godly spiritual perspective
• forget the past and move ahead to do God’s will
• appreciate and encourage each other’s commitment to keep God first
• see God working in their spouse and believe together to accomplish great things for God
• grow together to serve others
• reach out with God’s Word together and support His ministers

I’m very thankful that my “dream came true.” I have a wife who stands with me as we learn to walk closer with our heavenly Father each day. We keep Jesus Christ as lord of our lives and God’s Word as our standard.  We continue to pursue goals and encourage each other with God’s promises so that we have a genuinely spiritual perspective. We have plenty of opportunities to forgive and forget the past as we appreciate our mutual commitment to God. We continue to see God working in each other as we grow in service and reach out with the truth.

God shows us how, with His help, we can really enjoy and succeed in marriage! As born-again believers, let’s apply these principles and reap the blessings of a God-centered marriage.